Not that ranting about weddings is a new thing around here, but I've never had the opportunity to be planning my own before. This has brought about an entirely different perspective. Not only seeing how I actually end up planning my own wedding, but also in other peoples perception of my wedding.
Being female, I have "planned" my wedding many times, starting at about age 5. Those plans mainly consisted of "wear foufy white dress." As my conceptual development progressed other items were added to the list; bridesmaids dresses, flowers, music, locations. In my limited view of the world, I thought I had most things already decided, and things would be greatly simplified when the time came to actually carry out the plans. ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!! Right. For any of you who have already gone through this, you can stop reading now. :)
So, the man of my dreams finally just falls out of the blogosphere into reality. I am engaged and have 6 months to fully plan and execute a traditional wedding. A daunting task, but not unlike pulling a show off in 2 months flat. I take along my trusty crew of bridesmaids, and those I would have asked to be bridesmaids if we were having more than 2 attendants each. Wedding dress, girls dresses. Done, 2 hours. Ditch girls, pick up Dan. Ring shopping. Done, 3 hours. Venue. Done, 4-5 hours. Catering. Done, 5-6 hours. Cake. What? There are 8 million different combinations we have to pick from, with samples? Done, 3 days. Invitations, ACK! Oh, I have to have a quest book too? Dammit, now I have to find another person and get them a flower too! Tuxes, wedding party yes, families, no. What? My dad WANTS to wear a tux? Dammit! Another 2 tuxes to keep track of! What? we need to have a ceremony longer than 5 mins? Ack! Ugh! Too many complications! Core dump! Core dump!!
I had foolishly always thought weddings were about the bride getting her way in everything. Well, I'm not 18, and I don't want a complicated, foufy wedding. Everything as simple and pared down a possible. Spend $$ where it counts (reception dinner, photography), and for the rest, simple is really more elegant (and cheaper). For the most part, this will remain true. But the deeper I delve into the wedding abyss, the more I realize that there are a ton of social pressures that I cannot avoid. Tuxes for instance. I didn't want the dads or ushers in tuxes. Much easier to deal with, much less formal. My dad wants to wear a tux. My mom wants my dad to wear a tux. I cave. Now I have to ask Dan's dad to rent a tux too. Ugh. Guest book, I guess it's a neat idea, and I'm ok with it, but why do I have to ask a friend/relative to watch it and hand people a stupid feathered pen? Ugh, more flowers, another person I have to get there in advance. Not to mention, I still need to ask people to do "clean-up" duty after we leave. Ugh. More complications. At least people are not bugging us to register for formal china (not gonna, though will register for daily dishes, definitely need some of those) or bugging me about not having a flower girl or ring bearer. Though, I may draw the line if people start asking to stand in the receiving line! (why is it that when I decide I'd much rather not have people do things they normally complain about, they suddenly want to do them? ugh.)
I guess the bottom line is, weddings have nothing to do with getting your own way. Not even for the bride. I'm really lucky that all of the mothers involved are more than 200 miles away, and the worst thing they can do is start making hotel reservations without telling me. Weddings are really about having to make a bunch of decisions you probably don't really care about, being told that you can't really have it the way you want, just making do, and trying to keep the families from getting mad at you and each other. Ugh.
Dan is the only person in the world that I love enough to go through all this.
