Life Or Something Like It

This is the last post

2010-03-09T17:47:29Z

Sometime in early 2000 I began blogging on LiveJournal. Over the past 10 years I've used 3 different CMS, 4 or 5 servers, and one title; Laura's Blog: Life or Something Like It.

In 2003 I defined the purpose of this blog:

"The purpose of the blog (originally, LJ ) was to place for me to record my thoughts, that I could access from anywhere at anytime. I actually do go back and re-read over the past few months, every so often. It gives me a way to track my personal growth, as well as a reminder of everything that has transpired."

In the past 7 years I have come a long way. I'm married. I'm happy with my path in life. Many things are different. Many are still the same.

And yet, there's still a long way to go.

This morning I realized the blog is no longer necessary for me to move forward. For all the recent ranting, the act of publishing has not spurred me to growth. I've fixed those problems internally, in ways that aren't recorded here.

So, this is the last post. This blog will remain online until we change servers, or I'm motivated enough to backup the database one last time.

Thanks for reading. It's been fun. Maybe we'll meet again in another blog...

"The Out of Date Gamer: if it's not 10 years old, we don't play it."

Does it ever stop

2010-02-12T02:46:37Z

Does your soul ever stop fighting the terrible things that happen in adult life?

Yes, yes, my theme song is "Life sucks, get over it." But sometimes, I have... moments. The ones where you want to curl up in a ball and wake up a child again, and everything is ok.

Well, in my fantasy childhood, everything was ok.

But in reality...

I'll never get back the childhood my parents ruined.

People I love are aging, and will die soon.

My life will ultimately be deemed a failure by everyone except me.

I'll never get to a point where things "just work."

We do everything "right" and keep losing.

I gave up my best friends to move to a different state.

Sometimes I just want it all to stop. Or someone to help me through it all. But that's not how it works. So I press on.

Occasionally, Dan brings home flowers. That helps a lot.

Shoot me now

2010-01-21T18:54:31Z

Apparently the 80's are back. And it's scarier than first thought. In the past two days I've seen:

- A girl with "big hair and bangs", wearing a purple scarf as a headband, with matching purple sweater and leggings. And fur ankle booties.

- A girl wearing "neon" blue jeans with a "neon" pink top, with matching mascara and eye shadow. And fur ankle booties.

So far it hasn't spread to the guys.... yet.

I thought we took the 80's out back to be shot in 1995?

Continuing adventures in video game land

2010-01-12T19:28:59Z

So, Dan says I'm advancing in my quest through video game land. I have progressed beyond "Moving the Controller" stage, and working on "Not throwing Controller at TV." Though, I've only done that once, and it involved a PoP title....

Well, let's see... last game post was about Okami, which I finished. I've found all but two of the stray beads... well, I know how to get the last beads, but still decided to quit. I've done everything else in the game so fighting the last boss with the biggest sword is nothing but icing.

Gave up on Warrior Within for the third time, about 90 mins + boss fight from the end. I've reached the game frustration limit so it will never be touched again.

Finished Devil May Cry twice so far, working on Hard mode for finish number three. Another all time favorite for graphics, music, atmosphere, gameplay and characters. There is no story, but that's ok. I'm working on completing stuff, maybe attempt DMD mode some day.

Started Final Fantasy X, code named "watching TV." I forgot how much I like turn-based combat, and the art is just gorgeous.

Also started PoP: Two Thrones. At two hours in, not sure I'm going to like this much more than Warrior Within but for different reasons. I'll review this after I work on it a little more.

I swear it's a conspiracy

2010-01-08T14:12:42Z

This was going to be a "ate potato chips and went to bed" entry, really it was. Not much happened since Christmas. We had an awesome holiday. For New Years we partied with friends, and compared expensive champagne to cheap sparkling wine... the latter won. There was a little frustration with the neighbors when their sump pump created an ice lake in front of our driveway, that I had to break up by hand so it wouldn't get covered in snow. But that was offset by the purchase of video games with gift $$$, a PS3, and a new airport express. A little more than we planned on, but not severe.

*cue ominous music*

Then yesterday, what I would give to have a dagger of time and the power to rewind. First, overnight we both heard a large thump, enough to warrant me getting out of bed. But Dan stopped me, "It's fine. They're just playing." In the morning after opening the drapes, I noticed a large pool of water near the sliding doors. Immediately thinking snow got through the seal, I put down towels, feel for drafts at the door, throw the drapes over a chair and...

The cat's water bowl is overflowing. The 0.5 gal reservoir empty, it was full when we went to bed. The carpet is soaked and has leaked onto the laminate. Furious and confused, I start water damage control while my coffee gets cold. (Dan had opted to stay home, so he was busying clearing the driveway and brining in wood for the fire.) After reheating my coffee, I did a post-mortem on the water system and noticed large scratches on the reservoir jug. When held up to light, two of these scratches punctured the jug. Being a gravity system, water flow is regulated by air pressure, even a little hole will break the system. Fine. We have a duplicate jug downstairs, problem solved.

*cue more ominous music*

That evening, whilst carefully setting the laptop on the table to charge, the top of my water bottle broke off in my hand, causing the bottle to fall out of my hand, onto the keyboard.

I quickly hit the power button and began mopping up water and praying. After drying the top, flipping the laptop upside down, no water dripped out. Satisfied, I turned it on, and yep, everything seemed fine. I continued browsing until bedtime. Crisis averted!

*cue even more ominous music*

This morning, after a quiet night, I awoke to another flood from the cats water bowl. The reservoir jug has exactly one scratch one it, a scratch that starts with a puncture hole. If there were ever a case for declawing, this would be it. After cleaning up, again, I try to relax with fresh coffee and a little time on the LRR forums.

Hm... why is coffee straight from the pot cool? I don't use that much cream. Oh well, we have a french press and a microwave, deal with dying coffee pot later.

Ah, the forums are back up. Hm, that's interesting, I need to quote that and... wha? Is num lock on? What's with the apostrophe key? And the colon key? Ugh, the other alphas are ok, must have triggered that weird atl+ combo again that locks random parts of the keyboard.

Reboot. Um, yes, that was my password, and no caps lock isn't on.

Wait. *...*...nothing...*...........

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

Currently I'm waiting for the fire to get warm enough, because the hair dryer didn't help at all.

** the admin account password uses a different key that's broken as well

Update: Well, the USB ports still work, so with the addition of a keyboard the laptop is now a desktop. And volume control only through system prefs. But it boots and has network connectivity. Yay?

And now for something Canadian

2009-12-26T23:38:59Z

It's a sad truth, but I really don't laugh often. Not out loud, and if I do, it's never at anything on the internet. Well, a few months ago that changed. Thus I am proud to present:

LoadingReadyRun

The only intentional comedy I have literally LOL'd at in, well, a very long time.

If you haven't heard about these guys through my FB or twitter rantings, go take a look. I'll wait. Oh, you wanted something even more geeky? Try these series for The Escapist: ENN and Unskippable.

See? Monty Python for my generation! (getoffmylawn)

Why am I posting this? LRR has gotten me through the last part of this semester. With all the depressing crap going on, I needed to laugh at something, and myself wasn't an option. Yes, a bunch of random people in Victoria, BC just happen to share my sense of humor (scary). Most of Thanksgiving break was spent in a marathon viewing the archives, and occasionally dropping by the forums, which happen to be the coolest place I've ever found on the 'net. And so, I have become a fangirl of all things LRR.

Hopefully things will be taking an upward spin around here soon. I've made some difficult decisions and will post about them when I know more.

Now, don't you need to go laugh a little? :)

When do you give up

2009-12-18T13:06:11Z

"Never, never, never give up." --Winston Churchill

If you came through the front door in high school, that quote was the first thing you saw every morning. I really believe it's a good idea, in the broad sense. But sometimes, you have to give up on one thing, to pursue another. At least that's what I think life is telling me.

No, juries didn't go well. And now I have to make a decision.

I have been branded "that girl who just doesn't sing like we think she should." Even if I moved mountains with my bare hands in front of witnesses, it wouldn't make a difference. I love to sing and study the human voice. I think I'm better at it than anything else musically. Yes, I'm a good at theory, especially form and analysis, but that alone won't get me a theory&composition degree.

1. Do I want to keep doing this? Music yes. Voice yes, but I don't think I will ever succeed at it. No one sees past my age, and that is nothing but a hindrance.

2. What else would be an ok substitute? Teaching theory, but that requires changing schools.

3. Where can I go? Don't know - WashU is too expensive, other options have well over an hour commute.

I can't go back and I can't go forward. Are up and down options?

Holidays Make Me Grumpy III

2009-12-12T17:33:50Z

Ok - one more thing. It's not related to Christmas. It's the year/decade/whatever retrospective.

For at least 2 weeks, major news sites have been publishing "the last 10 years" retrospectives, some even dared to push out "2009 in review." Because nothing EVER happens between Dec. 1st and January 1st. Especially not between Dec. 25th and Dec. 31st...ahem, 2003, 2006, anyone? (if you're still in the dark, Wikipedia has a short list)

As if finals, fending off the zombie hordes at the mall, celebrating a major holiday with my family and dealing with nasty weather isn't enough, I need to reflect on a year that isn't over yet?

To add insult to injury... have you ever noticed how the news is usually pretty slow during the first few days of January? (not always, but usually slower than say, the last week of December) Probably because most of the world is still hungover from celebrating the end of a Gregorian calendar cycle. Wouldn't that be a great time for news outlets to run something about what just happened in the past year/decade/century/millennium? Nah, news about which movie stars partied where and how hungover they are is much more interesting...

Gah.

It seemed like a good idea at the time

2009-12-12T13:59:46Z

Ok, all the griping is over.... for now. But still on the subject of Christmas:

It seemed like a good idea at the time. (tm)

In an effort to save on shipping, wrapping, and effort I had a great idea: Send the URL of our Amazon.com wish lists to everyone and have the items shipped directly to us. Dan and I religiously track packages [junecloud.com], so we'd know which boxes are presents. Then just smack a bow on top, and put with the other presents until Christmas morning! And then we wouldn't look like slackers for doing the same thing.....

So right after Thanksgiving, Dan's mom e-mailed to say that packages were coming. She loved the idea of not having to collect, wrap and re-ship everything. She also said there would be gift notes inside to tell us who gets what and from whom. Perfect!

Then a package arrives that isn't from Amazon.com, and we have no idea what's inside. It's addressed to Dan... so we figure it must be a present. But from whom? A few days later, Dan is talking to one of his sisters and she mentions that some of our gifts have shipped. Ah, mystery solved.

Except that more UPs (Unexplainable Packages) keep arriving.

"Um, your mom said we had 3 coming?"

"Right, those 3 on the corner. And we know these 2 are from Kelly."

"Supposedly. But I think that ones a duplicate. It's from the same company."

"Ok... so who are these 5 from?"

"I dunno, Jennifer?"

"Um, but what if we're wrong? How are we going to know who sent what?"

And then the realization hit.

(Laura and Dan look at each other, then turn to the presents artistically arranged on the entertainment center, then turn back to each other with looks of terror)

We will be opening gifts without knowing who sent them, therefore having to make fools of ourselves during the Christmas Day Family Teleconference by asking who sent what.

(cue scary music)

This episode of "It seemed like a good idea at the time"(tm) brought to you by the annoying traditions of the season. It may be a lot of work, but just wrap the presents and mail them yourself. At least shipping was free one-way.

Non sequitur

2009-12-04T03:20:54Z

You know what's weird? When the university administrative staff thinks it's a good idea to send obituaries to the CAMPUS WIDE LISTSERV. Yeah, so at least 4 current/former staff/faculty have died this *semester*....should you really be telling students this? Right at finals?

Holidays make me grumpy part II

2009-12-01T12:52:22Z

One word: Shopping. And the root cause of shopping - presents.

Do I really need a paragraph on Black Friday? Suffice to say, we have a tradition of staying at home for the 3 days following Thanksgiving. Just in case some zombie shoppers get lost on the way to the mall.

But why do normal people suddenly become ravenous over store sales? Oh right, because if little Timmy doesn't get all 3 gaming consoles, a new computer AND and Tickle-Me Elmo this year, he'll cry. That may be a bit of exaggeration... well, no, not really. Yes, Jesus is the Reason etc, and we give gifts to each other because God gave us the greatest gift ever... wait, isn't salvation tied to the resurrection? Don't we already have a holiday for that?

If you've ever said something along the lines of: "We still need a fourth gift for Grandma, and a more stuffers (trans. items for a stocking) for Bobby so he'll have more stuff to open than Cousin Bill"....stop, sit, think.

1. You've probably already complained at least once that your kids never play with their new toys more than a few days after Christmas.

2. You've definitely complained that your kids have too much stuff. And no, grandparents aren't the only reason.

3. You are probably dreading whatever useless and/or ugly knick-knack Aunt Marge is going give you this year.

Why not just cut the madness? Yes, Jesus got a bunch of cool baby stuff...ok, only the gold was cool, the frankincense and myrrh were symbolic...but that's still only 3 presents. And he's JESUS, savior of the world, son of God, etc. And YOU need a pile of presents because...? That's what I thought.

We're instituting the 1 present rule for family, and I can say Dan is only getting a few things he really needs anyway. If we had kids, they'd be getting the figurative socks and underwear, with A chocolate santa. Seriously, the gift I want most is to wake up in my own home on Christmas morning and spend a quiet day with those I love most. If I get some new bath salts too... woo! And I can say from experience - parents, if Christmas presents are your way of "making it up" to your kids... the kids will still need therapy, and so do you.

Holidays make me grumpy part I

2009-11-29T14:45:24Z

It's the most over-hyped meaningless time of the year when people do stuff in the name of celebrating an event they probably don't believe in. And if that sentence makes me Scrooge, so be it. There are so many things about the "holiday season" that irk me, and this is the year to vent. In no particular order.

Christmas lights - especially large outdoor displays.

I've heard the "the lights represent the Light of Christ" reason for lighting of the tree (symbol of life in many religions), but really, all Jesus got was one star. I'm pretty sure that star didn't create half light pollution of a "drive through winter wonderland", or create a fraction of the pollution as generating the electricity to power those light displays. No, electricity isn't 100% clean, even from wind and sun. Do you know what goes into those photovoltaic cells? And how do you think kinetic energy gets converted into electric energy...magic?

We're not hippies at Thill House, but we are environmentally conscious. Try to only use electric light when necessary (e.g. - before sunrise and after sunset), have CFL bulbs, LED TV, gas heat (much more efficient), R19 insulation in the walls and R38 in the ceiling, Low-E coated windows. And only use outdoor lighting when expecting company.

Does this mean we don't use lights at Christmas? No, and I don't think it's hypocritical to be "green" and have a lighted Christmas tree. However, if you notice an severe uptick in your electric bill during November/December that is directly related your Christmas light display, that's crossing the line.

Here's our list:

Outside: One lighted wreath and a garland around the front door (1.5 strings).

Inside: Big tree (4 strings), little tree (1 string), 1 garland on mantle

All on timers. The most this ever cost us was around $5 (for the whole month), it's usually around $2.

So as you're griping about "having" to climb on the roof to wrap the chimney in lights and put up the eighth reindeer, remember that Jesus isn't giving out points based on how many lights you put up at Christmas. Maybe that extra $200 on your electric bill would be better spent at your favorite charity?

Being political in a healthy way

2009-11-23T13:05:03Z

This story has been making the rounds on the net - woman gets her health benefits pulled over Facebook pics. Catch? This is in Canada - the woman is Canadian, her insurer is Canadian.

So, with all the healthcare debate going on now - I'm going to post my two cents for the internet and be done with it.

1. Healthcare system in America needs to be fixed.

2. National healthcare is not the answer.

Having read Random Acts of Reality and Nee Naw it's apparent, the UK healthcare system has issues.... just different issues from US healthcare. I'm going to postulate that any health insurance or national healthcare plan in the WORLD has issues. (if your country is perfect please let me know.)

So, all the "let's get insurance like Canada/UK/!" folks, please realize:

You are handing back the flaming bag of dog poop that is US healthcare, and picking up another bag of flaming dog poop.

Well, if I'm so smart, what's my brilliant plan?

If you must have an "insurance" system, it should be more like personal property insurance. Money put away for emergencies - major surgery, cancer treatments, extreme neo-natal care, etc.

*rolls eyes* But, we all know the other types insurance in the US don't have issues. So...

Why have health insurance at all? Shit happens and it sucks if the cost exceeds your emergency savings. But...what? You don't have a savings account that is for emergencies only? Hmmmm.....

Health is not predictable, human life doesn't follow mathematical models well. For every "trend" there are people like me who don't fit the model and end up being penalized because the information about my genetic condition didn't exist in in 1976.

Yes, if there is no health "insurance" some people will die because they can't afford cancer treatments. News flash - we all will die. I could be hit by an idiot on I-70 and die while driving to class today.

The "free" market solve isn't going to solve all our problems, but it will require the least amount of government intervention, and IMHO, that's the best solution.

It doesn't get much better

2009-11-18T01:29:36Z

I took a nap in front of the fire today. Now I'm doing homework by firelight. Doesn't get much better than that.

Oh wait, add a glass of Syrah from Paris Winery.

Yeah.

Sometimes the familiar is best

2009-11-15T13:18:09Z

Back from hiatus - almost two months. Well, on with the show.

Been thinking a lot about Thanksgiving. It's next week, I don't have to work that weekend, (not necessarily a plus) and we're not going anywhere. Yup, no class for a full week and we don't have to pack suitcases. So, shouldn't I be making a gourmet meal? There's plenty of time, and I love trying out new recipes for holiday occasions.

Um, well, there's that 10-ish page paper due Wednesday after break, a concert the same week, juries just a little more than a week later, and do I really want to spend several days planning a menu and shopping last minute?

So, we are having a traditional meal.

Turkey, Stuffing (in a pan!), Mashed Potatoes, Gravy (mmmm lemon-sage gravy) - all standards. The only thing that comes in a package is the base for the stuffing.

Real cranberry sauce - New this year. As a reluctant member of a New England family, well, it deserves a try. Cranberries, the only fruit that jellies itself.

Salad - not usually for T-day. Thinking about field greens, with proscuitto and... mmmm, need more research.

Pumpkin pie - my mother's and grandmother's recipe, that came from a package of frozen squash in the 1950's. And everyone loves it.

Sugared dates - my late grandfather taught me to make these at the only Thanksgiving we ever spent with extended family. I love them.

Appetizers (the turkey is never ready on time) - Maybe a cheese plate with olive medley? Goes with the wine.

So there is it, the mostly traditional, can make it in my sleep Thanksgiving menu. If you're in the STL area, and don't have/want a family, come hang with us. Cover is cheap, and we serve lots of booze.